When it comes to anxiety born out of helplessness, there is nothing like worrying about a loved one to put you over the edge. Even if you normally consider yourself to be a rational and emotionally even person, once someone you love is having trouble in life, your calm and cool self can be replaced by a ruminating, worried mess.
In my psychotherapy practice, I teach people all the tricks of the trade to radically change how they cope when their loved ones are suffering. When our family members, children, friends, or co workers suffer, have health issues or are dying, or are dealing with addictions or financial problems, we usually suffer with them. Sometimes we even suffer more. The helplessness mixed with compassion can be torture, and can even lead to a whole host of negative feelings and illnesses within us. When they are in a dark hole, too often we jump in with them instead of staying outside and throwing a rope in to them. And too often we don’t know how to accept their journey, and whether the rope we have thrown is right for them.
“8 WAYS TO TRANSFORM WORRY FOR OTHERS INTO POWERFUL HEALING AND HELPING” is an excerpt The Soul Cure For Anxiety: The Ultimate Modern Therapy To Be Calm, Cool, and Connected (no matter what happens in life). I created this therapy program to help anyone and everyone have access to the cure for anxiety which uses the best tools from psychotherapy, life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality to create radical change. Use this excerpt below to help you to shift your approach to your loved one, to send only healing energy to them, and to keep yourself healthy and aligned at the same time.
8 WAYS TO SEND FEAR AND WORRY 1. Engage in “negative forecasting”: think of the worst things that could, might, or will happen to them 2. Think about how this scenario should not be, that is not fair 3. Think of each negative thing that might happen and how this will cause more negative things to happen 4. Feel sorry for them, pity them, sell them short, or otherwise dis-empower them of their true nature as a powerful being 5. Compare themselves to you and see their qualities as not as good as yours 6. Worry that you shouldn’t have good in your own life or keep yourself from joy because they are suffering 7. Try to control them, get them to do what you think they need to do to suffer less, feel less helpless by over-controlling 8. Believe that you know what is best for them and what would make them happy
8 WAYS TO SEND LOVE AND HEALING INSTEAD 1. Bring to mind all of the ways that this situation could work out. Fantasize & daydream about the situation going well
2. Pray for them by sending them white healing light to bathe them. Replace your worry thoughts by mentally sending them love and light every time worry arises in your mind and body. This gives you something useful and powerful to do when you feel helpless.
3. Accept that what is right now is right now, radically accept them as they are. Do not be focused on how they or their situation should be different in any way. Love them as they are. Feel the feelings that come with radical acceptance of what is. This frees you up to find easier, love-based solutions.
4. Honor their own power. Think of the times they have been powerful and wise. Honor the God within them, instead of thinking that just because you made some good choices that only you are righteous or good. Recognize that they are strong and resilient and that they might know more about their path than you. Lift them up with truth and not pity.
5. Allow yourself to live your own highest life. Do not squash any of the good, the happiness, in your own life because you feel they are suffering. They would not want that consciously for you. Remember you must be in your own highest alignment to help them best. Allow light into your life, live big, as it gives other people around you permission to do so as well.
6. Ask them how you can help and serve them in their journey to relieve their trials and tribulations. Remind them of their strengths, how you are grateful for them, what they do well. Serve to help them instead of controlling or feeling bad for them. Help them in the ways that honors your own boundaries and alignment with your own highest self.
7. Know that their life journey is theirs, and you are not the main player. Do not make their suffering about you. Allow them to own their own life, their choices. Remember that their life experiences have a purpose and the choices they make reflect their own soul growth, just as yours do.
8. Be grateful and Focus on The Strengths. Often things could be worse. Be grateful for the positive , count every blessing, and strength in the situation. Think of ways the situation could be worse. This helps to keep you focused on a positive energy of what is possible.
Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™. For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.
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